I began investigating this movie from the beginning. I've tried to jot everything down that comes to mind regarding this film so that you will know the truth. And that truth is this: it would be very unfortunate indeed to spend your money on this film and expect entertainment in return.

For, you see, the story is quite morbid. Three children are told that their parents have died in a fire which has also destroyed their home. They are then sent off to their closest relative, Count Olaf (Jim Carrey), who, as he so eloquently puts it, wants them to "do every little thing that pops into my head, while I enjoy the enormous fortune your parents left behind." After a failed murder attempt, the Baudelaire orphans (Violet, Klaus, and Sunny) are taken away from Count Olaf and sent from foster home to foster home (featuring such stars as Meryl Streep and Billy Connolly) as Olaf repeatedly tries to catch up with them, disguised as various over-the-top characters (which are perfectly suited for Carrey). What is so depressing about the story is that each and every time the orphans are able to overcome an obstacle, tragedy strikes again, all but dashing their hopes and all but ruining the euphoria of accomplishment.

In addition, there is an attempt to add some mystery to the plot as well. However, from the moment the narrator tells us that the fire that burned down the children's home and that killed their parents was caused by "a refraction of light from far away," I thought to myself two things. First of all, how could a fire inspector be able to discern this, especially at the end of the 19th century? But most importantly, I thought to myself, "Hmmm, sounds like somebody used a giant magnifying glass to focus the sun's rays upon the house." Big surprise! I was exactly right. And who would have done this? Let's see...how about the only villain in the entire movie?

The movie is directed by Brad Silberling, but definitely has a Burton-like feel to it; and by that I mean dark and goth-like. It seems to be set in the late-Victorian era, although the presence of such things as remote car locks and walkie talkies degrade any sense of realism or historical accuracy.

I had assumed, and unfortunately I was wrong, that this movie would be really funny. After all, it featured Jim Carrey, king of comedians, and it was being marketed to families. However, let me warn you lest you fall into the same trap that I did. I found only two or three instances in which I was able to laugh. One of them involved an exchange that went something like this:

Count Olaf:	And where is the dinner, children?
Children:	Dinner?
Count Olaf:	Yes...dinner. It is a French word that is used to refer to the evening meal.

However, moments such as these were few and far between. For the most part, I just kept thinking to myself, "This is so weird." But what sticks out in my mind the most is the absolute lack of any emotion whatsoever from the children. When told that their parents had just died, there were no tears, no sobs, no anything. When they were able to save themselves from being hit by a train, there was no joy, no elation, no anything. This stoicism may have been intended to put us in the mood for a movie such as this, but instead it results in sucking the feeling out of it. This makes it much less sad, much less scary, much less fun, and much less interesting primarily because we feel little attachment to the protagonist children.