After the overwhelming success of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, it was inevitable that a sequel would be coming. Now, after 3 years, it arrives in the form of Dead Man's Chest.
This time around, there is a new villain in Davy Jones. No, not the lovable lead singer of The Monkees, but a gruesome, squid-like man with a beard full of slimy tentacles. He has the sort of face that only a mother could love, and that is really the tragedy concerning his story. His true love betrayed him and he cut out his heart and put it into a box. This is, of course, the normal thing to do when love goes awry, despite the fact that most doctors and health professionals would advise against such drastic measures. Somehow, Davy is still alive, if you can call life without love being "alive," and has devoted his life into turning men into sea creatures, never ceasing to ask the ponderable question, "Tell me young sailor, do you fear death?"
In what is perhaps a tip of the hat (if not outright plagiarism) back to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Davy Jones likes to take his ship under the sea in submarine fashion and there is even a giant squid called "the Cracken." I'm guessing it is called the Cracken because it can crack a ship much like one would crack a nut. Furthering the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea comparisons, Davy Jones enjoys playing the organ in solitude. However, Davy's musical abilities far surpass that of a normal man in that his beard tentacles are able to tickle those ivories, enabling him to reach more than 10 keys at a time. Although, you'd think that over time, the slimy mucous covering the keys would make them start to stick.
All of our favorite characters are back for the sequel, including Orlando Bloom as Will Turner, Kiera Knightley as Elizabeth Swan, and of course Johnny Depp, who again reminds us that this is the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow. While the storyline is nearly impossible to follow given that death is not final and loyalties are criss-crossed, I believe that the gist of it is that Will wants to save his father, Bootstrap Bill, who is prisoner aboard Davy Jones' ship, the Jolly Roger. Captain Jack is supposed to be aboard that ship and wants to remain free. Norrington (Jack Davenport of Coupling) is now out of power and down on his luck is also involved, though I'm not sure why. He is still in love with Elizabeth, but plans to double-cross everyone in order to gain favor with the new British navy villain, Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) who wants to control the sea as Davy Jones does today. In the middle of all of this, Elizabeth winds up being the biggest traitor of all...
The characters are so numerous and the plot is so ridiculous that it is hard to follow. All notions of nobility, loyalty, and honor from the first movie are gone. And perhaps that's part of the point, because after all this IS a pirate movie. Everyone is in it for themselves. And somehow there is a mix-up with a band of natives which helps to remind me of some of the worst movies of all time including Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Peter Jackson's King Kong. All of this really helped me to lose interest, which is disappointing because of my overwhelming love for the original.
It's not all bad, however. The costumes and scenery are great. There is suspense and plenty of action. But when the story is so muddied and the characters are so flawed that we are unable to identify with them, or admire them, what's the point?
However, by the film's end, I was given hope. By now I'm sure you've seen it. I was reminded of what was missing this whole time. In the original movie, Geoffrey Rush gave us Captain Barbossa, who was the perfect pirate villain. He was intelligent, multi-faceted, and fun to watch. As I sat through this sequel I found myself disenchanted with Davy Jones and the others and found myself realizing how much Barbossa gave to the first movie. When he walked down the stairs at the close of the movie and asked, "Where's my ship?" my lethargic self burst forth into adrenaline, excitement, and anticipation.
And then it was over.
Not a very good sequel, but with Barbossa back, the third installment looks promising...
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