Why am I so glum? In most movies, plays, books, or stories of any kind, there is a protagonist: someone with whom the audience or reader can identify, someone in whose choices we are involved, and someone who carries us through the plotline. In the first Pirates movie, there were a couple of protagonists, but for the most part, it was Will Turner who sought to rescue his kidnapped love (or "bonnie lass"), Elizabeth, with the help of an eccentric pirate named Captain Jack Sparrow. However, by this third installment, reality is so twisted that life and death don't matter anymore since these worlds are now so easily connected. Furthermore, there are so many characters involved and so many plotlines going on that it is almost impossible to make sense of it all. For instance, what was the point of Chow Yun-Fat's character? He was so horribly underutilized and irrelevant. Finally, and tragically, each character is so self-absorbed and willing to double-cross anyone in order to achieve his/her own end, that I could really care less about any of them.

The love that drove us through the first movie is all but lost in this one as Will and Elizabeth hardly talk to each other, and when they do it is constant bickering. Will is out to rescue his father, but his father commits murder while aboard the Jolly Roger...sounds like he deserves to be there! Jack is off the deep end in insanity, Davy Jones proves that he is incapable of caring for someone, and Captain Barbossa, whom I was so excited to see return for this movie, has been nearly stripped of his power and respect, and therefore my interest. I honestly could care less if any of them lived or died, not that it would even matter because someone could just sail to the end of the world and bring them back.

Only adding to my misery was the fact that this movie lasts almost three hours. It was torture; I would have preferred to walk the plank. So much of the film was just the same stuff that we've already seen. How many times do we need to see the one-eyed pirate, Ragetti (Mackenzie Crook), crawl around on the ship in search of his wooden eye which is rolling away from him? Isn't he capable of doing anything else?

Perhaps what this movie will be remembered for, if not for the fact that it sucked, was the cameo by Keith Richards as Captain Jack's father. His costume and make-up were great and he truly looked the part. In this movie, he is the enforcer of The Code which he keeps locked up in a giant book. But what ever happened to The Code being more guidelines than actual rules? Don't the writers refer back to their previous scripts to ensure consistency?

There were, however, two bright spots in this movie. First and foremost, I truly enjoyed Norrington this time around. His is an ill-fated love, but his selfless sacrifice for Elizabeth is the only noble thing done in this entire movie. What is so frustrating is that she isn't even worth it. The second thing that I really enjoyed in this movie was the wedding. The ridiculousness of it all is what made it so funny. Embroiled in battle, Will and Elizabeth ask Captain Barbossa to marry them. In the midst of mayhem, he yells out above the clashing of swords and the firing of canons, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...". I loved it!

Thus, sadly, where the first movie only had two things about which I could mildly complain, At World's End has only two things about which I could mildly enjoy.