The-Reel-McCoy -- The Fifth Element

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	The Fifth Element

	Rated: PG-13
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With the possible exception of Killer Clowns from Outer Space, this is the strangest movie that I have yet seen. Strange does not mean bad, however. What I found most peculiar was the fact that this movie is pretty funny. It did not have to be funny. The premise of The Fifth Element is that the Earth is about to be destroyed and it is up to a taxi driver, aptly cast as Bruce Willis, to stop this doom from happening. This is not in itself a funny thought. But just when we think that something frightening or shocking is about to happen, something somehow inappropriately corny happens. At least it's not predictable.

So what is the fifth element? Or better yet, what are the first four? Well, the four basic elements (which have nothing to do with Mendeleev's Periodic Table) are wind, earth, water, and fire. But in order to stop the big ball of evil, a fifth element is needed: a red-head chic (seen in above picture). This red-head chic can then combine with the other four elements in order to spit a stream of light at the big ball of evil and thus save the world. Don't worry, I didn't spoil anything for those of you who haven't seen it.

If the plotline seems to confuse you, you are not alone. It confused me too. But what was even more confusing to me were the "bad guys." Nothing scared me. Gary Oldman, the supposed ringleader of the evil warriors, was ridiculously humorous walking around with a limp and speaking with a southern draw. And the warriors themselves seemed like they belonged on the Muppets.

Bruce Willis performed his usual "never panic in the face of danger; in fact, try to be cocky" hero. The only differences were that instead of the usual brown hair, he sported the blond look, instead of a white undershirt, he wore an orange one (possibly to match Leeloo's hair), and instead of your normal, run-of-the-mill gun, he used a futuristic model.

This movie did have one really bad aspect however: the president. His name is Tiny Lister, Jr., and he can't act worth a darn. He just repeated his lines. No emotion. No nothing. I could have taught my dog to act better than that and I am not exaggerating.

Looking for a little something different to spice up your film-viewing palate? Then see this one. It is like a cross between Pigs in Space, Encino Man, Die Hard, Judge Dredd, Star Trek, and The Three Stooges.