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picture from The Perfect Storm The Perfect Storm
3 out of 103 out of 103 out of 103 out of 103 out of 10
Rated: PG-13
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Current Voter Rating: 7.256 (297 votes)
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This movie was a big waste of my time. It thoroughly sucked.

First of all, the acting really sucks. George Clooney sucks, of course, as the captain of the Andrea Gail, Billy Tyne. Just take a look at any other movie (or TV show) that he's done. This one isn't any better. Another guy who really sucks is Mark Walhberg (a.k.a., Marky Mark) who plays Bobby Shatford. Somehow he tries to get us to believe that he is a lover-boy forced into a life of fishing by dire circumstances. Yeah. Whatever.

The one who extremely sucks is the macho guy, Sully (played by William Fichtner). He used to be on one of my mom's soap operas, and he sucked there too. This time he tries to be a macho hothead, but it isn't believable at all.

The only thing good about the acting was the makeup. It really did make them look dirty and disgusting; they looked nothing like your typical Hollywood characters.

As for the story...it sucks. It sucks the most of all. The script of this movie is based on a book which is based on a true story. You know, things as STUPID as this could only happen in real life. Have you ever received one of those forwarded emails which are entitled, "The Darwin Awards"? Well guess what, this story should DEFINITELY be listed on there as the main winner. You see, everyone dies in the end of this movie. For those of you who haven't yet seen the movie and think that I have spoiled it, let me just say this: Trust me. I have just saved you from two hours of torture and hell.

Darwin Award - First Place
A bunch of redneck sword-fishermen decide that it would be a good idea to go out and risk their lives to fish in a hurricane. The hurricane arrives, destroys their boat, and kills them all.
Oh well. When someone is that stupid you can't feel sorry for them. Instead, you should laugh your ass off. That is the whole point behind the Darwin Award emails. This movie could have perhaps been saved if it would have taken that more comedic approach. But instead, they ruin it by attempting to get us to feel sorry for these retards. Let me tell you, there wasn't a wet or even damp eye in the theater.

picture from The Perfect Storm

Another point I'd like to make about the script is this. Yeah, it is based on a true story. So what is that? The fact that a fishing boat got lost forever at sea? OK. Then that means that EVERYTHING ELSE in the movie is completely made up. I bet they never caught any fish and that they were all fighting and hated each other. They probably killed the captain too, just before the storm wiped them all out.

And as if that's not all, here's another stupid thing: they try to glamorize fishing. Billy Tyne (Clooney) even says, "There's nothing better in the world." HAHAHAHAHA.

You would think that a movie like this would at least have some redeeming qualities, such as the special effects, for instance. Nope. They sucked. On many of the outdoor shots I could easily tell that the background was a painted backdrop rather than actual water and sky. There were also many instances in which the model boats were almost laughable. My daughter has made more impressive scenes while playing with her toys in the bathtub.

And finally, the music also sucked. It was pathetic. They took about 3 to 4 seconds of actual music and repeated it in a continuous loop for the entire movie.

thumbs up!Save yourselves! Don't see this movie! And don't go fishing in a hurricane!

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So far, the average rating for The Perfect Storm is: 7.256 (297 votes)

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